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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24836272">Easy Lies (Hide Painful Wishes)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/STARSdidathing/pseuds/STARSdidathing'>STARSdidathing</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Acceptance, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Asgardian Tony Stark, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Feels, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Loki &amp; Tony Stark Friendship, Loki (Marvel) Feels, M/M, Pining, Pining Tony Stark, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Gestures, Tony Feels, Tony Needs a Hug, Wordcount: 5.000-10.000</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:14:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,119</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24836272</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/STARSdidathing/pseuds/STARSdidathing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Midsummer Festival is a time for courtship on Asgard, but Anthony is sick of the long line of suitors at his door. Especially when all he wants is Loki. </p><p>But when Loki makes a suggestion to help him... well, it might just prove even worse for his heart.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Loki/Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>75</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>683</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>FrostIron</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Easy Lies (Hide Painful Wishes)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Love was meant to be easy. It was meant to brighten your day and lighten your heart. But, that wasn’t the case for Anthony Howardson.</p><p>There was nothing simple about falling in love with your best friend and prince.</p><p>Anthony had been friends with Loki since childhood. He had adored Loki from a young age, spurning all other Aesir to spend his time with the brilliant, talented other boy.</p><p>Yet as they’d grown older and learnt what it was to both lust and love; Anthony had discovered he felt both for the prince.</p><p>Anthony had also realised that he could never breathe a word of it to his friend.</p><p>He might be of noble birth, but he would never be a suitable match for the second prince. He was also a <i>man</i>, and while such relationships weren’t frowned upon, they were not considered wise for a potential heir who would need to birth daughters and sons.</p><p>And even were that not the case, if status, politics, tradition and disapproval were all removed from the equation, there was still one thing that would keep them apart.</p><p>The simple fact that Prince Loki of Asgard, did <i>not</i> love his best friend the way Anthony wished he would.</p><p>They were the closest friends, but that was all they were. Anthony still loved his friend and longed for his touch and his partnership – but he knew it was out of his reach and so, he had tried to make his peace with it.</p><p>The Midsummer Festival however, was still difficult to bear. It was meant to be a light-hearted week of celebrations, but the court had long since made it about fostering good opinions with the people and learning inter-realm gossip.</p><p>And, the populace… well, they had made it about <i>courting</i>.</p><p>Single men and women waited all year to spend the week wooing perspective partners. It was a time to express interest in the one you desired and to win their heart.</p><p>It was the time of year that made Anthony’s blood run cold. He knew many of the Aesir did not think highly of Loki, but Anthony knew that sooner or later, someone would realise the prince’s brilliance, and when that happened… Loki might choose to court and marry them.</p><p>Anthony spent the lead up to the festival tense and trying not to show it. He also did his best to ignore the many male suitors who wished to win his hand – or the <i>female</i> suitors who were coyly trying to encourage his affections.</p><p>He was a highly sought after weaponsmith, a rich nobleman and a friend of the royal family. His line of admirers was long, and while Anthony often preened under the attention, this close to Midsummer, it just reminded him of the one person who wasn’t courting him.</p><p>It was why Anthony left his forge early, having a quick bath before escaping out the back of his house and making sure he wasn’t spotted or followed as he sought out his friend. Loki wasn’t in the library or the gardens, and it was almost a relief to find him in the privacy of his chambers.</p><p>He hated that his friend was not popular among the Aesir, and he knew it was a source of bitterness and jealousy to Loki, but in moments like this, Anthony truly didn’t <i>want</i> his friend surrounded by beautiful and eligible men and women.</p><p>Loki was reading, but he lifted his head and flashed Anthony a small smile. “I am surprised to see you. Are you not meant to be forging?”</p><p>“One cannot do anything of use this close to Midsummer,” Anthony muttered, throwing himself down beside the prince. It forced Loki to move his legs, but all he did in retaliation was drape them over Anthony’s thighs. </p><p>Anthony barely resisted the urge to lay a hand on Loki’s ankle; a grounding and affectionate touch – yet, something he could never bestow.</p><p>“Are the preparations for the festival too much of a distraction?” Loki teased. “You are so often dragged away by the latest shiny Alfheim object.”</p><p>“I take offense to that,” Anthony declared, miffed. “I am not so easily kept from my commissions and my work.”</p><p>Loki smiled. “That is true. So, what bothers you, Anthony?”</p><p>Sighing, Anthony dropped his head back against the settee. “I cannot get a moment’s peace without a suitor knocking on my door.”</p><p>Loki’s expression froze, and something pained caught at the corners of his eyes. </p><p>“<i>Ah</i>,” he murmured, his eyes falling to his book. “You are a fine Aesir, Anthony. It is no wonder so many seek to gain your courtship and affection.”</p><p><i>But I do not <b>want</b> them</i>, Anthony thought, but couldn’t say. <i>I only want <b>you</b>.</i></p><p>He made himself look away, staring down at Loki’s feet. He was barefoot and it was a sight that few could boast (and perhaps, few would ever want to) but to see Loki so relaxed made his heart swell with the sweetest warmth.</p><p>“There may be many who want me,” Anthony murmured, “but I have no interest in their courtships.”</p><p>There was a long silence, but when Loki spoke, it was not something he expected: “You have no plans to accept anyone?”</p><p>Anthony raised his head with a frown. “No. I thought I had made-”</p><p>“And they will continue to bother you throughout this period, as long as you remain unattached, correct?”</p><p>“…Yes.”</p><p>“Court me.”</p><p>Anthony swore the breath was punched out of him. His word was a gasp, “<i>What?</i>”</p><p>Loki held out his hand in a pacifying gesture, his eyes wide and his expression carefully guarded. “I am not asking as a suitor merely… merely a friend who is tired of his mother trying to find him a wife.” Loki gave a hopeful smile. “Perhaps we could solve a problem with no one the wiser.”</p><p>“You’re asking us to <i>pretend</i>.”</p><p>“Yes,” Loki agreed, nodding. He tentatively reached for Anthony’s hand and when he was not rebuffed, he laid it between both of his own. His book was long discarded in his lap. “We shall pretend to be courting. We can simply end it when the festival finishes. A mere seven days of illusion to save us both hassle and pain.”</p><p><i>Oh, but my prince</i>, Anthony thought, <i>you do not know the pain I shall feel.</i></p><p>Because, to pretend with Loki? To <i>court</i> with Loki? It would be an agonising torment… and yet, it would also be a blissful fantasy. A stolen moment, before reality resurfaced.</p><p>And, how could Anthony possibly resist his single chance?</p><p>He flashed Loki a smile that he hoped hid both his longing and worry as he said words he had long dreamed of uttering, “I accept your courtship, Loki.”</p><p>And when Loki smiled at him, Anthony could almost believe it was real and that Loki truly loved and wanted him too.</p>
<hr/><p>There wasn’t anything specific they had to do to announce their courtship, but Loki, being a prince, wanted to make a show of it. Anthony went along with it, unwilling to disappoint Loki, and not wanting to miss a moment of experiencing something he’d thought was out of his reach.</p><p>“If we are to make people believe,” Loki said, “we must act appropriately. I would not wish to hide my courtship. I would wish everyone to know you are mine and I am yours.”</p><p>“Even knowing it will end in seven days?” Anthony asked, unable to hold his tongue. “Will it not be… difficult to explain our sudden separation?”</p><p>Loki didn’t look at him. “It will be of little matter.”</p><p>“I do not think that-”</p><p>“Leave it to me,” Loki said, his voice firm and unyielding. “I will handle the intricacies of this.”</p><p>Anthony frowned. “But you never leave me out of your tricks.”</p><p>Loki always told him every detail, no matter how dangerous or scandalous. Anthony knew that his knowledge could find him in trouble or even imprisoned; yet, he also knew that Loki would do everything possible to keep him from harm. He trusted the mage with everything and, in turn, Loki trusted him.</p><p>Why would he withhold information now?</p><p>“It was my suggestion, Anthony,” Loki said, his green eyes finding and holding Anthony’s. “I promise you, I will have everything well in hand.”</p><p>It was a silent request to let the subject drop, and while Anthony wasn’t happy, he was more willing than he wanted to admit. After all, the less he knew about the trick, the more he could pretend each outing and each moment was genuine.</p><p>Anthony knew it would hurt him by the time his week was up, but at least in this moment, he could enjoy it while it lasted.</p><p>“Then how shall you have us announce our courtship?”</p><p>“At tonight’s evening feast,” Loki said. “You will enter on my arm.”</p><p>Anthony sucked in a breath, his eyes going wide. “That is… that will imply something far stronger than a passing dalliance… that will imply…”</p><p>“We are serious,” Loki agreed. “It is what we will need to keep other suitors from approaching.”</p><p>It made sense, but it also seemed to be far more than was necessary. They were all but declaring themselves a <i>couple</i> rather than a courting pair.</p><p>“Are you sure that’s wise?” Anthony asked. “If there are Elven dignitaries and they take the information home… the realm might believe you are unattainable.”</p><p>Anthony knew Loki thought highly of the Elves, truthfully, Anthony had known for some time that were Loki to ever fall for and marry another, they would likely be from Alfheim. He didn’t want to ruin his friend’s chance at happiness.</p><p>“Then let them believe it,” Loki stated not looking at Anthony. “I would not have made this offer had I not thought it through thoroughly, Anthony.” He finally turned and caught Anthony’s eyes with his searching green ones. “Tell me now if you have changed your mind and we will cease. But, if not, we will continue.”</p><p>Although Loki tried to look calm and impassive, Anthony could see the uncertainty and hope. This ruse meant something to Loki, and even if it didn’t mean as much as it did to Anthony, if his friend wanted it, Anthony could never refuse.</p><p>“I do not wish to stop.”</p><p>The tension fled Loki’s shoulders. “I have things well in hand. Trust me, Anthony.”</p><p>“With my life,” Anthony answered.</p><p>It finally made Loki smile. “Then tonight, we announce our courtship.”</p><p>Anthony tried to grin back, ignoring the lance of pain that jolted through his heart. A feeling that only worsened when Loki held out his hand for Anthony to take. He looked down at it warily.</p><p>“We must be ready to act as a couple. Consider this practice, Anthony.”</p><p>He only hesitated for a moment before taking his friend’s hand. A moment later, Loki’s rooms were fading for illusions of the Grand Hall. Loki’s hand slid from his to tuck him against Loki’s side. Anthony grabbed the prince’s elbow. They were both in formal attire and looking at Loki, he could almost believe this was real and not a rehearsal for a performance they had to make sure was flawless.</p><p>“Will you be able to treat me as a courted?” Loki asked him quietly.</p><p><i>There is no easier thing</i>.</p><p>His expression was wry as he answered, “I believe so, and as you said, this is a practice, isn’t it?”</p><p>Something unreadable flickered through Loki’s gaze, before determination tightened his eyes. A moment later, Loki was bending down. He gave Anthony no time to react before lips were brushing his cheek. Anthony sucked in a breath and his eyes fluttered closed as Loki lingered against his skin.</p><p>When he pulled back, Anthony snapped open his eyes. Loki remained close. </p><p>“I will have to do that often,” Loki whispered.</p><p>It wasn’t required. Couples did not <i>need</i> to be affectionate, but Anthony couldn’t bring himself to argue.</p><p>“I suppose I shall have to do the same,” Anthony replied.</p><p>He then leant in, pressing a kiss to Loki’s cheek in a matching touch. Loki’s skin was cool and smooth and Anthony held tight to the affectionate moment. He’d wanted to do it for so long.</p><p>When he pulled back, Anthony ran his gaze over Loki’s face, but the mage was giving away nothing.</p><p>“Well,” Loki finally said, breaking the silence before he turned away. “We should practice the rest of the evening.”</p><p>Unwilling to argue or lose the closeness and touch of the one he loved, Anthony quietly agreed. He let Loki lead him into an illusionary hall and enjoyed every squeeze to his hand or kiss to his cheek.</p>
<hr/><p>The feast was both easy and incredibly difficult.</p><p>He arrived on Loki’s arm, as they’d agreed and while the sight of them together was not unusual, their <i>intimacy</i> made silence descend over the hall as all eyes turned to them. Anthony tightened his grip on Loki’s arm, but the prince kept his head held high and his stride didn’t falter.</p><p>Soon enough, conversation began to flow again but many courtiers came to speak with them, wanting to confirm what was already obvious.</p><p>“Anthony Howardson and I are courting,” Loki declared without ceremony. “We are accepting no other suitors.”</p><p>He then turned his head and kissed Anthony’s cheek. Conversation over; intentions declared.</p><p>The courtiers dispersed and Anthony could already hear the gossip flowing. He could see a few suspicious gazes. The people who never trusted that Loki was telling the whole truth were expecting a prank, and that both worked in their favour and worked against them. It would make it easier at the end of the festival, but would make it <i>harder</i> while they pretended.</p><p>Grabbing them goblets from a server, Loki handed one to Anthony. He also led Anthony around the room, seeming to choose a circular path with new true goal. It took him almost ten minutes to realise what he was doing.</p><p>“I thought you wished your mother to see you with a partner,” Anthony murmured. “Yet, you are avoiding her.”</p><p>“It will work in our favour to wait until the meal to speak with her.”</p><p>Anthony frowned. “The meal?”</p><p>“Yes,” Loki said, a hint of a smile on his lips. “Do you believe I would sit apart from my courted? You will dine at the royal table.”</p><p>Anthony almost choked on his wine. “You cannot be-”</p><p>“Hush, dear Anthony,” Loki said, and while the words would never normally be enough, the endearment stole his breath. “It is customary. The servants will be rushing to add an additional place. Thor has never openly courted anyone, nor I, but as of this moment, you are a potential consort to the prince.”</p><p>His shock rendered him speechless. He’d never <i>once</i> imagined… even in his wildest fantasies where Loki accepted him, he’d always imagined himself as an unacknowledged lover. The court would know of their affection and devotion, but he would still be considered separate from the royal family. He had never once imagined Loki would go so far as to claim him as the equivalent of a <i>husband</i>.</p><p>And to do so <i>now</i>, while it was all an illusion? Why would Loki do it? What reason could Loki have for exaggerating their courtship to such a degree?</p><p>Yet, before he could ask (not that he could in such a public forum), a hand landed heavily on his shoulder. He looked behind him to find Prince Thor. He was clasping Loki’s shoulder as well and the mage was scowling.</p><p>“Brother!” Thor greeted, his smile jovial. “You and Howardson have finally started courting!”</p><p>“Yes, Thor,” Loki said, his voice unusually frosty. “As you can clearly see.”</p><p>“It is a cause for celebration!” He shook them both, nearly make them slosh their wine and stumble.</p><p>“Thor!” Loki snapped and yanked himself free from his brother’s hold. </p><p>He grabbed Anthony and tugged him close as well. The motion ended with Anthony more firmly pressed to Loki’s chest. Loki even wrapped an arm around Anthony’s shoulders, keeping him close.</p><p>“I am sorry, brother,” Thor apologised, yet his smile never faded. “I am merely so delighted at your courtship!”</p><p>Loki looked like he was fighting between a grimace or a sigh. He eventually settled on a nod and a neutral, “Thank you, Thor.” He then flicked his fingers. “Now go and dance with your women. We wish to enjoy our time together.”</p><p>Thor laughed and shook his head. “It is your first evening, so I shall leave you be.” He pointed his finger at Loki. “But this shall not work every time. After all, you shall have all the time in the universe to be with your courted!”</p><p>Anthony tried not to flinch at the Crown Prince’s words.</p><p>
  <i>All the time in the universe.</i>
</p><p>Thor could not be more wrong, and it <i>hurt</i>. It also made Anthony realise exactly how fleeting this week would be; minutes lost in conversation, hours lost to duties or friendships. Anthony wanted to spend every waking moment with Loki. He wanted to spend his <i>sleeping</i> ones with the prince too, but he knew those were out of the question.</p><p>The waking ones however…</p><p>“I wonder, as a newly courting couple, should we be spending the entirety of the festival together?” Anthony posed the question casually, trying to ignore his pounding heart. “It would surely help to quiet those who doubt us.”</p><p>“It would limit those who sought to interfere in our relationship,” Loki agreed. “And spare me from tiresome duties I do not wish to perform.” He wasn’t looking at Anthony, but he nodded. “Yes, I believe that is a fine idea.” His eyes finally flicked to Anthony’s. “If you are willing to spend an entire week at my side?”</p><p>It was a question that needed no consideration, and had not changed in many decades.</p><p>“I would be happy to Loki.”</p><p>His friend gave a small smile, yet it didn’t quite meet his eyes – yet, before Anthony could comment, Loki was leaning down and kissing his cheek again. Anthony eyes fluttered shut and he leant into the caress. The room melted away until there was nothing but the two of them and Loki’s lips on his skin.</p><p>When he pulled back, Anthony opened his eyes slowly. Loki’s smile was a tad more genuine. The moment felt thick with emotion and tension, and Anthony didn’t know what it was building towards – but before it could develop, the sound of Gungnir hitting the floor echoed around the room.</p><p>The moment broke and they turned to see Odin standing at the royal table. He didn’t say a word, but he didn’t have to; everyone immediately went to find their seats.</p><p>“I hope you are ready to weather my mother’s curiosity,” Loki said, before he was sliding his arm from Anthony’s shoulders and taking his hand to lead him through the hall towards the royal table.</p><p>Anthony could feel his nerves increasing as every eye seemed to land on his back as he ascended to sit on Loki’s right while the Queen was at the prince’s left. Loki squeezed his hand in comfort, and Anthony squeezed back, but he still felt entirely unprepared for the role he had thrown himself into.</p><p>Loving Loki was something he had done for centuries, and courting the prince was a long-held fantasy; neither of those were difficult. But, sitting at a feast as the potential consort of a prince, all while knowing it would be over in several days? <i>That</i> was something Anthony did not feel prepared for in the slightest.</p><p>And with the Queen’s sharp, thoughtful eyes boring into him, Anthony could only hope he managed to keep not only the secret of their ruse, but the secret of his affections too.</p><p>The Allfather opened the feast with a short speech promoting a good season and the success of all courting couples. There was a round of cheers and applause before the servants started filling the tables with food. Conversations erupted around the hall and the royal table was no exception.</p><p>“What a surprise this was, Loki,” the Queen began. “I did not expect to see you enter with someone on your arm.” She looked past Loki and Anthony was unfortunate enough to catch her gaze. He instantly bowed his head, but the damage was done. “To know it was Anthony, your long-time companion was even more unexpected.”</p><p>Their hands had separated as they began to place food on their plate, but Loki’s hand found Anthony’s again without looking away from his mother.</p><p>“Surprise or not, mother, I do hope you will not disapprove of the one I am courting.”</p><p>“I would never disapprove of anyone who makes you happy,” Frigga said. “I will however, be concerned for the suddenness of such a courtship and the… manner in which it was announced.”</p><p>“You think I would hide Anthony in the shadows?” Loki asked, his voice turning sharp.</p><p>“Of course not,” Frigga disagreed. “I thought you would merely spend some time courting in silence and without the eye of the court following your every move. It seems unusual for you, Loki.”</p><p><i>She is not fooled</i>, Anthony thought. He flicked his eyes to Loki, and the prince caught his gaze as well. </p><p>“If I am so fortunate as to gain Anthony, why would I not announce it?” Loki questioned, yet he never looked away. “Why would I not parade my luck before the Nine?” He raised his hand and stroked his fingers over Anthony’s cheek, brushing near his goatee. Anthony leant into it, and Loki smiled faintly. “Why would I not seize the first chance I could gain?”</p><p>The last question had weight to it, an undercurrent of something that made Anthony’s brow furrow, but before he could try and puzzle it out, Loki leant forward. Anthony’s eyes widened, but he only had a moment for surprise before Loki’s lips were pressed to his own.</p><p>Anthony’s eyes closed and his hand raised, clutching the leather of Loki’s jacket and tilting into his touch. It was only a simple caress of lips, a chaste gesture for the court and the Queen, but Anthony held onto it tightly.</p><p>He memorized every touch of soft lips against his own, and the faint brush of noses as they aligned themselves perfectly. It was his first kiss with Loki; his <i>only</i> kiss, depending on how the week unfolded. Anthony didn’t want it to end.</p><p>But, propriety and the clearing of Frigga’s throat made them pull apart and look to the Queen. Her suspicion had faded, but in its place was not happiness or excitement, but sadness. She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes.</p><p>“May the Norns bless your union,” she said, her eyes moving from Loki to Anthony and back again. “I hope for nothing but your happiness.”</p><p>“Thank you, mother,” Loki replied softly.</p><p>“Thank you, Queen Frigga,” Anthony equally intoned.</p><p>Directly afterwards, they all turned back to the feast and Loki removed his hands and his touches. Anthony stared down at his plate and moved his food around listlessly. </p><p>It hadn’t sounded as if any of them truly believed her wish would come true.</p>
<hr/><p>When the meal finished, they were required to socialise. The court all wanted to learn about their sudden courtship and how it had come to be.</p><p>Anthony tried not to tense, especially when the answer flowed easily off Loki’s tongue. They had been sharing a private meal in Loki’s chambers as they often did when the subject of the Midsummer Festival was raised. Loki took the chance to ask Anthony to court him and Anthony had agreed.</p><p>It was so near the truth that it made it incredibly easy to believe the lie. People even began to tease them for ‘<i>taking so long</i>’ as if they had been expecting it all along. Anthony laughed along with them and stayed pressed to Loki’s side. </p><p>He was as good a liar as Loki, but he could feel himself straining under the ache of this particular deception.</p><p>When the music began to play and finally dispersed the crowd, Anthony was both relieved and unnerved. The reason for his concern was realised when Loki moved him towards the cleared space.</p><p>“Shall we dance, Anthony?”</p><p>Despite Loki offering it as a question, he didn’t wait for a response as he shifted their hold and took his place in front of Anthony. He had no choice but to rest his hands on the prince and be pulled into a dance. Loki was leading, as was expected for his station and Anthony had been raised to know both roles. It was the simplest thing in the world to fall into step with Loki as they glided around the room.</p><p>
  <i>I could do this for the rest of my life.</i>
</p><p>The words sent a sharp pain through his heart and he tried not to flinch. He had to look away from Loki’s beautiful green eyes. He looked over the couples and the rest of the room. He caught Frigga’s sad gaze and hurriedly shifted back to Loki. He stared at the prince’s jacket.</p><p>“Are you alright, Anthony?” Loki asked quietly, their movements slowing but not stopping.</p><p>But, Anthony <i>wasn’t</i> alright. He was getting everything he wanted and Asgard <i>believed</i> it. They all thought he was courting the prince and that they were meant to belong with one another. Anthony yearned for it with all of his heart and none of it was <i>real</i>.</p><p>It suddenly felt oppressive and suffocating. He was touching his friend and dancing with him and Loki had no idea of Anthony’s love. It was a joke to Loki, a <i>trick</i> - but to Anthony, it was enough to break his heart. </p><p>He couldn’t do this.</p><p>“Anthony?” Loki asked again.</p><p>He shook his head, and pulled his hands from Loki. “I can’t, I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Anthony,” Loki’s voice sounded panicked. “Wait!”</p><p>He tried to snag Anthony’s clothing, but he was already hurrying away. He tried not to make a scene, but he could already feel eyes on him, especially with Loki instantly following after him.</p><p>Anthony was lucky their dancing had brought them near the doors as it allowed him to leave the hall and enter the hallway before Loki caught his arm and held him firm.</p><p>“Anthony-”</p><p>He didn’t want to hear it. He couldn’t even look at his friend. He saw a flare of green magic; a spell to keep their conversation hidden and that was all he needed for the gates to open.</p><p>“I cannot do this, Loki. Everyone is expecting me to be a consort and for this to be a lifetime courtship, and I <i>cannot</i>.” His voice cracked and he ran a hand over his face. “I cherish our friendship, and what if this <i>ruins</i> us? What if they start to want-”</p><p>“I do not care what they want,” Loki interrupted, his voice fierce. “I do not care what they say or what they believe. We are doing this for ourselves, Anthony - for our… our <i>ease</i>.”</p><p>Anthony laughed bitterly. “Ease, Loki? <i>Ease?</i>” He turned on his friend, a glare on his face that faded at how pale the mage looked. His voice softened with concern, “Loki?”</p><p>Loki reached out and carefully took one of Anthony’s hands between his. He held it close in a gesture both intimate and yet, it wasn’t romantic it was… <i>pleading.</i></p><p>“Anthony. I promise you; our friendship will not suffer. I would never let it. You are my dearest friend and I would never do anything to jeopardise what I share with you.”</p><p>“But-”</p><p>“I likewise, will never let this hurt your position in the court or your standing amongst the Aesir. Anthony, I <i>assure</i> you that you will come out of this unscathed.”</p><p>“Loki-”</p><p>The prince squeezed his hand. “Please.” Anthony’s eyes widened. “I am asking you not to stop. I am asking you to continue this ruse for me.”</p><p>Anthony wanted to refuse, to shake his head and hide from all the pain that this would cause him but… but Loki had rarely begged Anthony for anything. He manipulated, he demanded, he <i>asked</i>, but he never pleaded.</p><p>“Loki…” Anthony whispered. “Why does it-?”</p><p>“That does not matter,” Loki insisted, his eyes hardening and making it obvious he wouldn’t elaborate. “It is important to me. <i>Please</i>, Anthony. It is only a week.” He gave a painful smile. “Surely, I am not so horrible a prospect to court for a single week?”</p><p>It might have sounded a joke to anyone else, but not to Anthony. He knew his friend; he knew how shaky Loki’s confidence and self-worth could be. He also knew that to many Aesir, it <i>would</i> be a horrible concept to court Loki.</p><p>But, Anthony found it the complete opposite – only, he could never admit it.</p><p>It was a secret that would agonise him throughout the week; each touch, each kiss, each dance, each congratulations. It would pull at his heart and remind him of what he would lose – but Loki didn’t just want him to do it, he <i>needed</i> him to do it.</p><p>This meant something important to Loki, even if he wouldn’t explain what.</p><p>But, maybe he wanted to show that someone <i>had</i> chosen him, that someone <i>could</i> court him. It might only be for a week, but it was the most important courting week of the year. Anthony couldn’t disappoint his friend.</p><p>“Alright,” Anthony whispered, sealing his fate. “I will continue.”</p><p>Loki let out a sigh of relief, slumping forward. “Thank you.”</p><p><i>Why does this mean so much to you?</i> Anthony thought, but he knew to ask directly would find him met with a wall and the withdrawal of his friend behind masks and tight words. He would have to be subtle if he wanted to learn the truth.</p><p>It only took a few moments for his friend to pull himself together and when he did, he raised his head. He still looked a little worried and his eyes were hopeful as he asked, “We do not have to go back to the hall, Anthony, but…will you walk in the garden with me?"</p><p><i>It would be wiser to show the court we are no longer fighting,</i> Anthony almost said. It was the smarter choice, but he didn’t wish to return to their prying eyes. He did not think Loki did either.</p><p><i>We could go somewhere less public, where we do not need to pretend,</i> he almost said as well, but he swallowed it down at the last moment. Loki was still holding his hand and, in this moment, it felt comforting, not oppressive.</p><p>It made him remember why he loved the prince, and not why he would lose him.</p><p>“I would like that,” Anthony finally answered.</p><p>Loki smiled at him, and it almost looked genuine. He didn’t let go of Anthony’s hand, choosing instead to hold it and lightly lead him down the hallway and towards the gardens. None of it was necessary, but Anthony didn’t protest.</p><p>Because, what could he say?</p><p>
  <i>I am in love with you, please, do not treat me like your lover.</i>
</p><p>But, he had chosen his place, and it was by Loki’s side and helping his friend; no matter the heartache it might bring.</p><p>His friend asked him to pretend, and with his promise given to Loki, not even his own fears would be able to stop him.</p>
<hr/><p>They spent the rest of the evening in the garden talking like they always did only this time, Loki held his hand the entire time. Only a single patrol of Einherjar spotted them and when they parted for the night, Loki pressed a kiss to his cheek at the steps to the palace. A few more people saw them and Loki seemed to stay on the steps until Anthony was out of sight.</p><p>Loki met Anthony at his house the next morning and took him out into the city for a day of events. Their courtship was common knowledge as was their strange flight from the Great Hall. The rumours were vast and changed from person to person. Anthony had felt guilty at the fresh suspicions and he apologised profusely. He wanted to help Loki devise a solution and a reason for his actions but Loki waved him off. The prince smiled tightly and declared: <i>Leave it be. It will make the cessation of our courtship seem more believable, I imagine.</i></p><p>Loki wasn’t wrong, but it settled unhappily on Anthony’s shoulders. <i>He</i> was the one who had fled while Loki made chase. If Loki sought to gain a positive reputation from their ruse, Anthony’s actions would not have helped. Yet, anything he attempted to say was brushed off or the subject changed.</p><p>It remained that way for the next few days.</p><p>Loki wouldn’t talk about their ruse, what would happen when it ended or what Loki sought from it. He merely threw himself into the courtship. He took Anthony on longboat rides, he competed at the stalls to win Anthony ludicrous prizes if only to make him laugh.</p><p>They walked around with hands clasped and watched a play every day; sitting side by side and with Loki’s hand resting on his thigh. The week was a whirlwind of activity and <i>courtship</i>. Loki kissed his cheek and his palm. He danced with Anthony every night. But never, not since that first night, did Loki press his lips to Anthony’s.</p><p>Anthony was torn between relief and disappointment. He wanted to kiss Loki again, but he feared doing so and revealing how <i>much</i> he longed for it. Anthony also feared, if he kissed Loki again, he would curl into his friend’s embrace and beg to extend their courtship.</p><p>He had spent seven days as the doted partner of Prince Loki. He received curiosity and whispers, but no envy. He received sadness from the Queen if he ever dared to look at her, and jovial happiness from Prince Thor.</p><p>Loki did his best to keep them apart from the royal family and Anthony appreciated it.</p><p>But, it was now the last night of the Midsummer Festival and Anthony was dreading the evening. Their ruse would be over by the time the feast was concluded. He didn’t know what Loki planned, but he knew it would hurt, one way or another.</p><p>When Loki arrived at his house, his smile was tight, but he still held out his arm. Anthony linked his through the other man’s, adopting a position they had taken throughout the week. </p><p>“Do you mind taking a longer route to the palace?” Loki asked.</p><p>“Of course not,” he answered, privately relieved at delaying the inevitable.</p><p>Loki nodded. “Good.”</p><p>They fell silent as Loki led them through the city streets. There were a dozen other couples walking and looking at the lights that floated above them. There were flowers hanging from every house and smiles were on every person’s face.</p><p>Everyone, but the two of them.</p><p>Loki was tense at his side, his expression grim. Anthony knew he looked equally drawn and pained. He already knew the source of Loki’s heartache; their ruse had not worked. There was no envy, no new admiring glances turning Loki’s way. Anthony knew that to end their courtship would only further damage his reputation.</p><p>Anthony almost wished Loki would ask to extend it, yet, he knew to continue would only wound his heart further.</p><p>He couldn’t keep living in such an aching illusion. Yet, for the few more moments it lasted, Anthony could try and enjoy it.</p><p>But, when Loki led him to a quiet courtyard with only a few floating lanterns for light, Anthony knew that there was no avoiding what was to come. Loki let a flare of green magic spark around the private space before he turned to Anthony.</p><p>“It is the end of the festival,” he said quietly, “and you have done what I asked. Thank you, for continuing the ruse despite your displeasure.” Loki’s cheek jumped resembling a grimace before he smoothed out his features and looked away. “Tonight, you will no longer be seen as my courted. We shall have an argument, and you will leave the feast. By this time tomorrow, Asgard will know that while we remain friends, you have ceased our partnership.”</p><p>Anthony was shocked. It took him a few moments to go past incredulity, but when he did, he glared at Loki with stubborn refusal.</p><p>“No,” he instantly argued, despising the mere thought. “No, I will <i>not</i> be known as the one to end this. You will be the one to cease things with me, Loki.”</p><p>“<i>No</i>,” Loki said and for a moment, his voice sounded hoarse before he cleared it. He also shook his head. “No, Anthony. I cannot be the one to do that.” </p><p>“But you must,” Anthony insisted. “Your reputation-”</p><p>Loki laughed, but it sounded bitter. “Is not worth protecting. I see the looks. They wonder why in the realms you choose <i>me</i>. They look at you with desire, and they scowl at me. I hear them mutter how I manipulated you into my arms.” He laughed again; harsh and grating. “And they do not know how close they truly are.”</p><p>“Loki,” Anthony whispered, wishing to sooth. He took the other man’s hand automatically; such comforts and acts had become so familiar over the last week. “You know it is not what they say.”</p><p>Loki stared at their hands. He turned his over and better clasped Anthony’s. </p><p>“But it is,” Loki whispered. “I made you a deal, and pleaded with you to continue, long after you wished to stop. I touched you, and held you and kissed you in front of the realm.” His lips pulled into the saddest smile Anthony had ever seen. “They think I could never have you, and they are right.”</p><p>“They are <i>not</i>,” Anthony snapped, his chest flooding with rage and pain for his friend. He felt so close to spilling every secret he’d tried so hard to contain.</p><p>
  <i>I would court you in a heartbeat, my Loki.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I love you with all my heart.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>If you only wanted me, I would be your consort in every word and vow.</i>
</p><p>“They are,” Loki said softly, his fingers stroking Anthony’s hand. “And now you need to prove it.”</p><p>Anthony shook his head, refusing hotly, “I will not.”</p><p>“Anthony-”</p><p>“I refuse to do as they wish. I will <i>not</i> cease this courtship.”</p><p>“<i>Anthony</i>,” Loki sounded strangled.</p><p>He just glared at his friend who had paled. Anthony wasn’t thinking about his pain; he wasn’t thinking about anything but his friend and the pride and self-confidence he deserved.</p><p>“I will not,” he insisted stubbornly. “If we end it, then it will be by you.”</p><p>Loki shook his head, his voice sounding raw. “I cannot.”</p><p>“Then we will not end it at all!” Anthony said, frustration and impatience, making him snap out the words.</p><p>“Do not say that,” Loki whispered.</p><p>“Why <i>not?</i>” Anthony demanded.</p><p>When he caught Loki’s eyes, Anthony was stunned to see how turbulent they were; he looked like he was on the edge and about to fall. Anthony’s frustration slipped away for surprise and concern.</p><p>He lifted his hand unthinkingly and touched his friend’s cheek. “Loki?”</p><p>The mage closed his eyes and tilted into his touch, and when his words slipped out, they were coated in misery and shocked Anthony to the core.</p><p>“Because if you do that, I will never let you go.”</p><p>Anthony felt as if the breath had been punched out of him. “<i>Loki</i>.”</p><p>Loki pulled away from Anthony’s touch, although he didn’t unclasp their hands. </p><p>“It is why you need to end it,” he said bleakly. “I need to remember that this was… an aberration. A sweet lie. The realm can mock the blow to my pride, and I will take it, because for a little while Anthony, I was able to pretend you were mine.”</p><p>He opened his eyes, if only stare at where their hands touched. His traced his fingers over Anthony’s hand.</p><p>“My dearest one.” He brought up Anthony’s hand and laid a gentle kiss to it. “I have enjoyed being your courted.”</p><p>He let Anthony go and stepped back, he finally raised his head. His eyes were sad and his smile was weak. “Please, do not tempt me to keep you for longer than you can bear.”</p><p>“Loki,” Anthony whispered, the word finally slipping past his shock. “Oh, my dearest Loki.” A frown creased Loki’s brow, but Anthony just stepped closer and cupped his friend’s cheeks. He stroked his thumbs over beautiful pale skin. “What makes you believe I do not want to be yours?”</p><p>Loki’s eyes widened but Anthony leant in and pressed their lips together in a soft kiss. Loki let out a small whimper and clasped Anthony’s wrists. He kissed Anthony back with fervent need. He also pulled him close and Anthony didn’t resist. Anthony’s arms ended up around Loki’s neck, while Loki clutched his back, refusing to let go.</p><p>They only parted when they were short of breath, and they still remained near, breathing in each other’s gasps.</p><p>“You wish to court me?” Loki questioned, desperation in his tone. "Truly?"</p><p>“More than anything, more than any <i>other</i>.” Anthony brushed his lips over Loki’s cheek. "I always have, my Loki."</p><p>Loki gave a disbelieving laugh and his hands clenched tighter in Anthony’s jacket. “I feared you would pick another. So many yearn for you.”</p><p>“I never wanted anyone but you,” Anthony insisted. “I feared someone would finally learn how incredible you are, and I would lose you.”</p><p>“You are the only one I can <i>see</i>,” Loki hissed, catching Anthony’s lips again in a fierce kiss. “I wanted you for my own, even if only for a week - even if it only kept you from another for a few months.”</p><p>“You can keep me for much longer,” Anthony whispered, nuzzling the prince’s neck. “Court me in truth. Court me for the universe to see. I will be yours and everyone will know who I choose.”</p><p>Loki shuddered in his arms. “It is all I have wanted. This week and for decades before it.”</p><p>Anthony smiled and pulled back, catching his friend’s eyes. “Then ask me.”</p><p>“Court me, Anthony Howardson?” Loki asked, hope in his eyes and a hesitant smile on his lips.</p><p>“Yes, Loki Odinson,” Anthony replied without a moment’s hesitation.</p><p>Loki’s smile spread across his face. It sent delight to his eyes and <i>confidence</i> to his expression. Anthony felt his heart flare with happiness and warmth.</p><p>And when Loki leant in and kissed him, it was with delight in every movement. It was with excitement in their touch, and <i>belief</i> in their hearts.</p><p>Because finally, their courtship was true.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I probaaaably should have done/written out the courtship week. <s>And not rushed the ending</s> But this was already 7k. <s>And maybe that's why I don't like it?? Idk. I don't like it but I'm sick of looking at it in my completed folder</s>. Hopefully you liked it :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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